Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!

www.VampireFans.com Presents

Monstervision

Monstervision Movie Reviews and Host Segments, and 100% Wierd Listings for your viewing pleasure this month
Hi, how ya doin?

Monstervision 1997 logo

Welcome to the Mostervision page.

FAQ (frequently asked question): What's the difference between Monstervision on TNT and Mystery Science Theater 3000 on the Sci-Fi channel?
Monster jokes "There are 3 types of people in the world - those who are good at math and those who aren't."

Past movies have included Star Trek 2: The Wrath Of Khan, all 3 Poltergeist movies (in a row, the same night), Back to the Future, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, The Dead Zone, Christine, and even a couple of films they also made fun of on MST3K...
Following the Monstervision movie or movies was a film that TNT considers "100% Wierd". Sometimes it has something to do with the evening's selection (2 Godzilla movies were followed by "All Monsters Attack") and sometimes not. Sometimes "100% Wierd" was just a short film, Bigfoot: Man or Beast ... which is about 50% wierd. Or the classic Japanese TV-series Ultra 7, or Gilligan's Island, which is just plain silly. Each summer, Professor Joe Bob Briggs would conduct his own Summer School

These movies continue to run on TNT, TBS, and even the Sci Fi Channel in their original form. Simply print out the host segments for the movie when it comes around and read Joe Bob's comments on each segment as you watch the movie. It's the next best thing to having Joe Bob on the couch next to you...

Books by Joe Bob Briggs are available from this Amazon.com direct link

In addition to being Joe Bob Briggs on MonsterVision, John Bloom also appeared on Comedy Central's Daily Show to comment on Godstuff. John Bloom's Godstuff page at Comedy Central. John Bloom does most or all of his own writing

MonsterVision movies transcripts list so far

Movies previously seen on Monstervision scheduled on other channels (click title for Monstervision review & host segments, if available).
EST, Times shown before 7am are considered night of previous day, so you can set your VCR before going to sleep. I appologize if there are any mistakes. I didn't want to be a barber I wanted to be a Lumberjack
Date/time  Movie Title/Description Links                 Channel 

                          Week of 07/28/07

Sat 7-28-07:
7am/10am EST The Alligator People (Lon Chaney vs. mad scientist) FOX Movie Channel 
7:30 am, Sat An American Werewolf in Paris               TNT 
7:50 am, Sat The Cave                                    Starz Edge 
8:00 am, Sat Honey, I Shrunk the Kids                    Showtime Beyond 
8:15 am, Sat Escape from New York (Air Force One hijacked into World Trade Center) HD Movies 
8:30 am, Sat Lady in the Water                           Cinemax 
8:30/11:30 EST Animaland cartoons (1949, British)        Turner Classic Movies
8:40 am, Sat Duel (Dennis Weaver vs. a truck from the Twilight Zone) Action Channel 
9:00 am,     The Fox & the Hound (1981, voice of Kurt Russell) Toon Disney
9:35 am, Sat Encino Man                                  Showtime Beyond 
10:00 am, Sat Dark Water                                 Wam! 
10:50 am, Sat Caveman                                    Showtime Family Zone 
11:00 am, Sat So I Married an Axe Murderer (Mike Myers comedy) Comedy Central 
11:05 am, Sat 007 in Tomorrow Never Dies                 Showtime Beyond 
11:50 am, Sat Blade                                      Black Starz 
12:15 pm, Sat Heaven Can Wait                            HBO Comedy 
1:00 pm, Sat Minotaur                                    SCIFI 
1:35 pm, Sat Final Destination 3                         HBO Zone 
1:45 pm, Sat Bad Moon                                    Action Channel 
  Red Planet                                             Cinemax 
2:00 pm, Sat The Witches of Eastwick                     HBO # 3 
3:00 pm, Sat Larva                                       SCIFI 
3pm/6pm EST  Buffy the Vampire Slayer                    FOX Movie Channel
3pm/6pm EST  Will Penny (1968, Cahrlton Heston, Donald Pleasence) Turner Classic Movies
3:10 pm, Sat Back to the Future                          HBO Zone 
  Silent Hill                                            Starz 
3:40 pm, Sat Doom                                        Thrillermax 
4:30 pm, Sat Encino Man                                  Showtime Beyond 
  Reeker                                                 Showtime 
5:00 pm, Sat Angels in the Outfield                      Cartoon Network 
5pm/8pm EST  HUD (1963, Paul Newman as amoral rancher during anthrax outbreak) Turner Classic Movies
5:25 pm, Sat Wolfen                                      Thrillermax 
5:30 pm, Sat The Fifth Element                           TNT 
5:40 pm, Sat Twins                                       HBO Comedy
5:45 pm,     Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (Mark Hamill, Harison Ford) HBO #2
6:00 pm, Sat Dark Water                                  Wam! 
  Honey, I Shrunk the Kids                               Showtime Beyond 
6:30 pm,     The Wicker Man (Nicolas Cage)               Cinemax
7:00 pm, Sat Bone Snatcher (2003)                        SCIFI 
  The Cave                                               Starz Edge 
7pm/10pm EST Hot Shots (Charlie Sheen spoof of Top Gun)  Fox Movie Channel
7pm & 9:30 Grease (1978, John Travolta)                  Family Channel
7:30 pm,   Jewel Of The Nile (Danny DeVito, sequel to Romancing The Stone) WE
7:45/10:45 EST Super Troopers (2001, cops vs. cops)      IFC
8:00 pm, Sat Blade                                       Black Starz
  The Godfather (1972)                                   American Movie Classics
  Grumpy Old Men (Walter Matthau, Jack Lemmon, Burgess Meredith) Flix Movie Channel
  Princess Diaries 2 (Julie Andrews as the Queen)        ABC
  007 in Die Another Day                                 Spike (TNN) 
  Spider-Man (2002)                                      TNT 
  Speed 2 (sequel to Speed)                              Encore
8pm & 10pm   Shanghai Knights (2003, Jackie Chan in the old West) TBS
8pm & 10:30  Crocodile Dundee 2                          Bravo
8:15 pm, Sat Fargo                                       HD Movies 
9:00 pm, Sat The Covenant                                Starz 
  Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist                      More Max
  Friday (1995 comedy, Ice Cube)                         TNT
  Legally Blonde (2001)                                  Comedy Central
  Sands Of Oblivian (2007, the DeMille curse is loosed on Guadalupe, Calif) SCIFI
9pm/12am EST Hot Shots (Charlie Sheen spoof of Top Gun)  Fox Movie Channel
9pm/12am EST Shane (1953, Alan Ladd vs. Jack Palance)    Turner Classic Movies
9:30 pm, Sat Final Destination 3                         HBO Zone 
10:00 pm, Sat 007 in Tomorrow Never Dies                 Showtime Beyond
10:15 pm,     Stealth                                    Encore
10:30/1:30 EST Double Take (a banker switches idetities) WGN
10:45 pm, Sat Silent Hill                                Starz 
11:00 pm, Sat Werewolf Hunter: The Legend of Romasanta   Showtime Showcase 
  The Witches of Eastwick                                HBO # 3 
11pm/2am EST  Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the Movie        FOX Movie Channel 
11:45 pm, Sat Fargo                                      HD Movies 
12:00 am, Sun Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation  Mystery Channel 
12:05 am, Sun Doom                                       Thrillermax 
1:00 am, Sun Dawn of the Dead (2004)                     Starz 
  007 in Die Another Day                                 Spike (TNN)
1am/4am EST  High Plains Drifter (Clint Eastwood)        Turner Classic Movies
1:30 am, Sun Contact                                     TNT  
1:50 am, Sun House of Wax (2005)                         More Max 
2:00 am, Sun Audrey Rose                                 Showtime Family Zone 
2:45 am, Sun The Sixth Sense                             Starz 
3:00 am, Sun Bad Moon                                    Action Channel 
3:50 am, Sun Blade                                       Black Starz 
4:00 am, Sun Lost in Space, the Movie                    Wam! 
  007 in Tomorrow Never Dies                             Showtime Beyond 
4:30 am, Sun The Mothman Prophecies (you'll sleep with the lights on now) TNT 
5:00 am, Sun Lost in Space, the Movie                    Movie Plex 
6:00 am, Sun The Haunting (1999)                         HBO 
  Pulse                                                  Black Starz 
6:05 am, Sun Batman & Robin                              Encore  
6:10 am, Sun Island of Dr. Moreau (1977)                 Encore's Drama Channel 
6:35 am, Sun Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the original movie) Starz  
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sun 7-29-07:
7:20 am, Sun Sahara                                      Showtime Showcase 
8:00 am, Sun Batman Begins                               HBO 
  Jumanji                                                TNT 
8am/11am EST After The Thin Man (1936, Jimmy Stewart murder mystery) Turner Classic Movies
8:35 am, Sun Fog, The (2005)                             Starz Edge 
9:00 am, Sun Deep Rising                                 FX Channel 
  Dolly Dearest                                          SCIFI 
10:00 am, Sun The Covenant                               Starz 
10am/1pm EST  Plunder Of The Sun (1953, old Aztec treasure with a curse) Turner Classic Movies
10:15 am, Sun Magic in the Water                         Showtime 
10:45 am, Sun Alien: Resurrection                        Action Channel 
10:50 am, Sun 007 in Tomorrow Never Dies                 Showtime Extreme 
11:00 am, Sun Bride of Chucky (Child's Play 4)           SCIFI 
  Confessions of a Dangerous Mind                        USA Network 
12:15 pm, Sun Dawn of the Dead (2004)                    Starz 
12:30 pm, Sun The Shawshank Redemption                   More Max 
1:00 pm, Sun Boo                                         SCIFI 
  Jaws: The Revenge                                      Mystery Channel 
  Underworld                                             TNT 
1pm/4pm EST  The Russians Are Coming The Russians Are Coming (1966 Cold War comedy) Turner Classic Movies
followed by The Wackiest Ship In The Army (1961)         Turner Classic Movies
1:30 pm, Sun Pulse                                       Black Starz 
  Red Dragon                                             USA Network 
1:35 pm, Sun Screamers                                   Thrillermax 
2:00 pm, Sun Big                                         Encore's Love Stories Channel 
2:15 pm, Sun I Still Know What You Did Last Summer       Cinemax 
2:20 pm, Sun Scream                                      Encore 
2:35 pm, Sun Halloween: H20                              Mystery Channel 
3:00 pm, Sun Shallow Ground                              SCIFI 
3:05 pm, Sun Silent Hill                                 Starz Edge 
3:30 pm, Sun Spider-Man                                  TNT 
3:50 pm, Sun The Sixth Sense                             Starz 
4:00 pm, Sun The Matrix Revolutions                      Cinemax 
  The Godfather (1972) and The Godfather 2 (1974)        American Movie Classics
4:50 pm, Sun Child's Play                                Showtime Beyond 
5:00 pm, Sun Cursed                                      SCIFI 
  Reeker                                                 Showtime # 2 
5pm/8pm EST  Singing In The Rain (spoof of silent movies, Debbie Reynolds) Turner Classic Movies
5:05 pm, Sun The Lost Boys (with fangs)                  Thrillermax 
5:30 pm, Sun Batman Begins (2005)                        HBO 
  Heaven Can Wait                                        HBO # 3 
  The Hills Have Eyes                                    More Max 
5:40 pm, Sun The Covenant                                Starz 
5:45 pm, Sun Batman & Robin (Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze) Encore 
  Ghost                                                  HD Movies 
  Sahara                                                 Showtime Showcase 
6:00 pm, Sun Blade II & Blade Trinity (Wesley Snipes)    TNT 
6pm & 9pm    The Parent Trap (1998)                      Family Channel
6:30 pm,     The Bourne Identity (2002, assassin with amnesia) USA Network
7:00 pm, Sun Thirt13en Ghosts (2001 remake of William Castle horror film) SCIFI 
7pm/10pm EST Fuzzy Pink Nightgown (1957, movie star falls for her kidnapper) Turner Classic Movies
7:15 pm, Sun Fog, The (2005)                             Starz Edge 
7:20 pm,     Sky High (Kurt Russell as superhero whose son is flunking super-high school) Starz
8:00 pm, Sun Blade: Trinity (2004)                       TNT 
  Executive Decision (1996, Kurt Russell vs. terrorist hijackers) Encore
  Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks, traveling through history)    TBS 
  Pulse                                                  Black Starz 
  007 in Tomorrow Never Dies                             Showtime Extreme 
  Young Guns 2 (Emilio Estevez as Billy the Kid)         CMT
8:05 pm, Sun Alien: Resurrection Sigourney Weaver, Alien 4) Action Channel 
8:20 pm, Sun Land of the Dead                            Thrillermax 
9:00 pm, Sun Trilogy of Terror II (1996 sequel)          SCIFI 
  My Super Ex-girlfriend (2006, dumped girlfriend has super powers & a grudge) HBO #2
  Superman Returns (2006)                                More Max
9:15/12:15 EST Sid & Nancy (1986, it's a vicious love story) IFC
10:00 pm, Sun Amityville Horror, The (2005)              The Movie Channel 
  Screamers                                              Thrillermax 
  The Shining (1980, here's Jack Nicholson with an axe!) Cinemax 
10:10 pm, Sun Halloween: H20                             Mystery Channel 
10:15 pm, Sun Scream                                     Encore 
10:30 pm, Sun Blade: Trinity                             TNT 
10:35 pm, Sun Silent Hill                                Starz Edge 
10:50 pm, Sun Dawn of the Dead (2004)                    Starz 
11:00 pm, Sun Forrest Gump                               TBS 
11:50 pm, Sun House of Wax (2005)                        Thrillermax 
12:00 am, Mon Dumplings                                  Sundance Channel 
12:45/3:45 EST Tomorrow The World (1944, American family takes in strange German boy) Turner Classic Movies
1am/4am EST  Cocoon 2: The Return                        FOX Movie Channel 
3:15 am, Mon Needful Things (Stephen King: the Devil's coming to town) Showtime 
3:35 am, Mon Alien: Resurrection                         Action Channel 
4:10 am, Mon The Halfway House                           Showtime Beyond 
5:00 am, Mon 007 in Tomorrow Never Dies                  Showtime Extreme 
5:40 am, Mon It! The Terror from Beyond Space            Mystery Channel 
6:00 am, Mon Dazzle                                      Encore's Love Stories Channel 
  Saving Private Ryan                                    HBO Zone 
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mon 7-30-07:
7:00 am, Mon Dazzle                                      Movie Plex 
7:15 am, Mon The Curse of Frankenstein                   Thrillermax 
8:20 am, Mon Fog, The (2005)                             Mystery Channel 
9:00 am, Mon 007 in Dr. No                               Spike (TNN) 
  King Kong (2005)                                       HBO 
10:05 am, Mon The Exorcism of Emily Rose                 Mystery Channel 
10:15 am, Mon Dark Water (2002)                          Showtime # 2 
10:20 am, Mon Bats                                       Black Starz 
11:15 am, Mon Omen, The (2006)                           HBO Zone 
  Star Trek V: The Final Frontier                        HBO # 2 
12:30 pm, Mon Fog, The (2005)                            American Movie Classics 
12:50 pm, Mon Weird Science                              HBO Comedy 
2:30 pm, Mon The Ninth Gate                              American Movie Classics 
3:10 pm, Mon Field of Dreams                             More Max 
4:00 pm, Mon Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home               Thrillermax 
5:30 pm, Mon Batman (1966, Adam West)                    American Movie Classics 
  Doctor Dolittle (1967)                                 HBO Family 
6:00 pm, Mon The Amityville Horror                       The Movie Channel 
6:10 pm, Mon Red Planet                                  Actionmax 
6:20 pm, Mon Bats                                        Black Starz 
6:30 pm, Mon The Island                                  HBO # 3 
7:00 pm, Mon Back to the Future                          HBO Family 
  Child's Play                                           Showtime # 2 
7:05 pm, Mon Alien 3                                     More Max 
8:00 pm, Mon The Postman                                 Encore 
  Scream 2                                               Showtime Beyond 
8:15 pm, Mon Fog, The (2005)                             Mystery Channel 


12:05 am, Tue Weird Science                              HBO Comedy 
12:15 am, Tue Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation  Starz 
1:00 am, Tue Bats                                        Black Starz 
2:45 am, Tue Reeker                                      Showtime Showcase 
  Urban Legend                                           Showtime 
2:50 am, Tue Back to the Future                          HBO Family 
3:00 am, Tue Big Trouble In Little China                 Actionmax 
3:15 am, Tue Saving Private Ryan                         HBO Zone 
3:40 am, Tue Fog, The (2005)                             Mystery Channel 
4:30 am, Tue Unborn But Forgotten                        Sundance Channel 
4:50 am, Tue Dawn of the Dead (2004)                     Black Starz 
5:20 am, Tue Idle Hands                                  Thrillermax 
6:00 am, Tue The Covenant                                Starz 
  Encino Man                                             Showtime Beyond 
  The Ghost and Mrs. Muir                                HBO Comedy 
6:10 am, Tue Vampires                                    HBO Zone 
6:35 am, Tue Audrey Rose                                 Showtime  
   Current Monstervision listings
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe Bob Briggs most recent interview page 1, page 2

Satellite TV For Pc! Elite Edition. Now includes unlimited movies, music, MP3s, games, & TV shows! Improved technology! 600x Faster. WORKS ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD: U.S., U.K., Canada, Japan, India, Russia, etc. Connect to a whole new world of online entertainment. Click Here for more information
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The Stock Market dropped 311 points on Thurday and another 208 on Friday...135 points in the final half-hour, but most experts do not believe this will lead to pig-men slaves pulling people down into the sewers and aliens taking over the Empire State Building. The Doctor Who special/TV-movie for Christmas 2007 will be on the Titanic (season 4 on the SCIFI channel, probably the following summer 2008). Here's a full page photo of the Doctor and a waitress he meets on the RMS Titanic.

Joe Bob Briggs interviews Ghoulardi (video courtesy YouTube, from 1991) and reviews Invaders From Mars
Just don't tell Bill Murray it's Groundhog Day

Post a comment at the new Monstervision blog. Anything to do with Monster Vision, Joe Bob Briggs, good movies, bad movies, baddest movies, etc.

Sony won't confirm it, but insiders say the budget for Spider-Man 3 was around $350,000,000 making it the most expensive movie ever made. Not to be confused with the low-budget Lon Chaney, Jr. monster movie Spider Baby (1964, with the opening credits music narrated by Chaney himself)

Ed Wood (with Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi, as he was filming Plan 9 from Outer Space) is showing this month on AMC's sister station, Independent Film Channel

Note: upcoming Dr. Who 3rd-season episode "The Shakespeare Code" (2007) is filmed in an exact duplicate of the Globe theatre. The original Globe theatre was destroyed by fire in 1613. The New Globe Theatre was completed in 1997. Its creation was instigated by the late Sam Wanamaker. Sam was the father of Zoë Wanamaker, who played Cassandra in The End of the World and New Earth. The title may refer to a popular movie last year, The Da Vince Code

Max Headroom Squares has now been loaded onto Monstervision.info (this website) including all 18 questions/answers and Max's original comments (no skill is required: Max answers every question)

Download & watch your favorite TV-shows online from episodes of "24" to Star Trek, whether they're available on video/DVD or not!
Or your choice of over 3000 movies online

Click here to watch Plan 9 from Outer Space in its entirety free of charge

Joe Bob Briggs interview from November 2006 is now archived online

You've heard about it, check it out for yourself. The George Orwell spoof: Why 2008 won't be like 1984 put together by a fan of Obama

There are former MonsterVision movies on the following entire-month channel's pages. Whenever possible, I have made the movie titles on these pages MonsterVision review/host segments links:
American Movie Classics ... Turner Classic Movies ... A&E ... History Channel ... Independent Film Channel ... Encore
Starz ... Starz in Black ... Starz Edge ... Starz Comedy ... Encore's Mystery ... Drama and Action Channels and Wam
HBO & Cinemax ... Showtime ... Showtime's Flix Channel ... The Movie Channel ... Showtime's Family Zone and Sundance channel
Showtime #2 (Showtime Too), Showtime Showcase, Showtime Extreme, Showtime Beyond, Showtime Women, and Showtime's Family Zone channels. Showtime HD appears to have the same listings as Showtime
Starz Cinema ... Starz HDTV ... Encore Westerns ... MoviePlex ... Starz Kids & Family and Encore's Love Channel
Sci-Fi Channel movies & TV-marathons ... USA Network movies
Fox Movie Channel no longer has monthly listings, just a daily list on their website
See Dinner & A Movie page for upcoming TBS Dinner & A Movie (Fridays), Movie & A Makeover (Saturdays), TBS Movie Extra (Thursdays & Sundays)

Click here for Ghost Rider movie trailer, from the creators of Spawn
Battlefield Earth by L. Ron Hubbard starred John Travolta in the year 3000. But Mike Nelson and his robot friends don't sound impressed in this clip. And please don't hold a Grudge (Mike had trouble understanding this Japanese version. It's as if he fell into some kind of Matrix). But was it really that hard to make fun of Jar Jar Binks in Star Wars Phantom Menace? At least Star Trek 6 has William Shatner. Now Star Trek 5 was much easier to make fun of. And Brando's remake of a certain monster movie was ripe for the taking. Come on, give it a try. Be a Daredevil. And I hope you don't think Stallone is Over The Top. Or was that Nicolas Cage they were watching in The Wicker Man? I guess they're Lost in a silly Reign of Fire with a Wolverine in X-Men, The Movie. Besides, Arnold's busy with Terminator 3, before getting to the Crossroads (among the finest Britney Spears movies ever made) of running for Governor of California. Would you like a Cocktail while you wait for Harrison Ford to do something in Firewall...maybe he'll wake up in this other Firewall clip. Forget it, I'm going to see what happens when Darth Vader's brother Chad joins Mike & the guys to watch Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. Well, OK, that didn't go well, let's try a Star Wars Episode II RiffTrax clip without Vader. Here's the Trailer, as remastered by Tom and Crow. It all has something to do with the Fellowship of the Ring where the hills are alive with something. Or would you rather join Mike for a short about Nestor the Long-Eared Donkey? I'll be at the Road House with a monster truck and a Top Gun singing about the Fifth Element on Halloween. Don't mind me, I'm a Troll Too, a movie that has nothing to do with the sniper in XxX. What movies will they riff in 2007? Well, this shakey-cam interview probably won't help. Either Brokeback Mountain or Titanic. I think. It's a Design For Dreaming. I'm just Appreciating Our Parents, and other Alphabet Antics. Come to think of it, Mike and the bots made fun of "Titanic" already, in this look at The Oscars (1997). And why does Mike think that Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory was so weird?

Terminator Vs. RoboCop movie trailer
Don't make me send you to sensitivity training with a Terminal Virus

Previous MonsterVision listings here (June, 2007)

Clip posted at YouTube: Bob Denver intros Mysterious Island for TNT's MonsterVision

If this link doesn't work it's not my fault (no pathetic excuses)

Iran held an international conferance to refute the Holocaust. Unfortunately, six million witnesses were unable to attend.

Joe Bob still believes in Santa Claws, and so should you if you don't want a Silent Night, Deadly Night

Tim Burton's stopmation Corpse Bride premiered on the Family Channel in October 2006

Beware the Cat People (1942), they have sharp claws

What woman wouldn't want to say to a brutal serial rapist: I Spit On Your Grave (Joe Bob checked it out, 4 stars)

Brokeback Mountain is now showing on one of them cable channels. Brokeback Mountain as retold by cartoon bunnies in 30 seconds
The Ring as told by cartoon bunnies in 30 seconds

Wes Craven says he's doing a remake of Last House On The Left, wasn't the first one scary enough?

A security guard on the graveyard shift discovers that all the exhibits come to life after hours in Night At The Museum (Ben Stiller, Robin Williams)

Empire State Building hit by plane

Have something to sell? Clickbank has 100,000 affiliates eager to sell things for you!
Click here for more information

Say, who's that Lady In The Water?

Things to do when you're dead: www.Mydeathspace.com including the latest list of the dead

Click here to get Lost (second season now available)

Today's best price on new computers from Amazon.com

Doc Hudson is the Hudson Hornet
If anyone asks, I was smashin' mailboxes with Lightning McQueen and Sheryl Crow
Would you like to have Joe Bob speak at
your next meeting or corporate event?
Fill out this form, so that he can get back
to you with all the exciting details!

What would Cars sound like in French or Spanish?
Say what you will about Mator, he's still better than Jar-Jar Binks
Review of Cars 2: The Game...Chick Hicks is back and up to new tricks

"A diamond is a girl's best friend. A dog is man's best friend." Bill Cosby

Flight 93 (about the passengers who revolted)
Note: WB & UPN networks are merging into the CW Network. Those WB or UPN TV-stations in the same cities that don't join CW are forming their own network called MY-Network, including KCOP Los Angeles, WOR New York, WPWR Chicago, all Sinclair stations and most Rupert Murdock News Corp stations. This may confuse programming for a while in Sept. but Morgan Fairchild likes it
Update: new programs have been cut back to 2 days a week, with the other 2 days being action movies like RoboCop.

Chicago passed a law 3-6-06 requiring icecream truck drivers to be fingerprinted. Apparantly they're afraid there just might be a psycho Icecream Man out there somewhere

Aslan Take them The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe theatrical trailers swiped from
www.Narnia.com
have been moved to the new
Chronicles of Narnia movie page
Aslan is on the move. Sequel coming soon

Note: NBC has cancelled the Trio channel on cable, it can now be seen only at the website Trio.com

Check out Pirates Of The Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest or the Flying Dutchman may get you with its kracken

Golden Age of Radio online starting Friday, July 28th: The Shadow 7/24/1938 "Murders in Wax" Lamont & Margo discover real bodies on display in the wax museum

Note: Encore's Mystery Channel is showing both versions of The Island of Dr. Moreau (1977 and 1996) the same day (each repeated on Movie Plex), but don't say in which order on their website. They also have Doctor Who (1996), the only version that can be seen in most of the U.S.A. as BBC has exclusive rights to all the past movies & series and only show them on their piss-ant tiny BBC-America cable network, though the SciFi Channel has 2005-2006 episodes starting March 2006


Happy Halloween from Dr. Loomis
Note: if you used a search engine to get to this page, the listings may be out of date. Click here to refresh page:
Webmasters, feel free to link to this entire page - http://www.Monstervision.info
There will never be popups or popunders here, though I do enjoy a good apple popover now and then if its cooked right

Had it with predictable horror flicks? Check out "The Exorcism of Emily." I know it sounds like a rip-off of "The Exorcist" but it's not - a priest goes on trial when an exorcism subject dies, and is defended by a lawyer who's not sure how much to believe but has to convince the jury that he's not guilty. Now on DVD

Tim Burton's Corpse Bride

7:30am Mon-Sat: Batman TV-series spinoff The Green Hornet (Bruce Lee) Action Channel
Time Tunnel

If you see any problems with this website, you'll have to check with the Dungeonmaster. The webmaster is taking a nap
Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Roger Corman already had a version of The Fantastic Four ready to put out on DVD when the big-budget movie comes out?

Radio Drama Online is now available for about a week. Webcasts this year have included: "The Girl in the Morgue" host/intro by Peter Lorre available online starting 10-7-05, "Hostess" by Isaac Asimov on X-1, 12/12/56: a woman is delighted to host a fellow scientist, from another planet, but her husband seems increasingly hostile
X-1 "Lulu" 10/31/57, A spaceship's computer falls in love with a crewman who writes poetry and angrily sends the ship into deep space away from Earth when he stops writing. And then a jealous 5-ton robot shows up and says that she loves him now
"Surface Tension" by James Blish, "The House In Cypress Canyon" with a werewolf in it, "Dimension X: Pebble In The Sky" the 3rd one from the sun, populated but still a little radioactive from the war

"There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud" - Carl Sandburg

Now available from Amazon.com Joe Bob Briggs narrates A Double Dose of Joe Bob Briggs: "The Double-D Avenger" and "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter"

Joe Bob will be appearing at "Genghis Con" in Pittsburg, PA, Nov. 18-20, 2005 their website, with other guests including Debbie Rochon of "Dr. Horror's Erotic House of Idiots"

Dick Tracy (1990) is on cable, costarring Madonna of Truth Or Dare.
Joe Bob's review of Truth Or Dare.

MonsterVision Rating System
G.....General Audiences, all ages allowed
PG....Profanity Guaranteed, all ages allowed
R.....Restricted, no one under 17 allowed unless they like looking at nekkid chicks or bloody violence and can talk the babysitter into pretending to be their parent to get them in. Unless of course she's a psycho Sitter
NC17...No children under 17, cause this movie has X-rated sex or violence that Hollywood doesn't want to call X-rated anymore. The British & Germans have a number-based ratings system, and the French use one based on bleu cheese

The first season of Fractured Flickers is now available on DVD from Amazon.com, with host segments by Hans Conried

See Sci Fi movies page for this month's morning-to-4pm marathons on the SciFi Channel (TV Guide no longer has listings before 8pm daily in its continuing effort to be indistinguishable from other magazines)

Joe Bob Briggs defends Dinner & A Movie, sort-of. Their official website

Here by mistake? Click Here to return to your previous page anywhere on the internet (how cool is that link?)

Joe Bob’s Arab do’s and don’ts - you can join the Delta Force, but don’t show your feet to an Arab!

Hey you Hee Haw fans!

Click Above To Translate
This Page Into - HILLBILLY !

Or Click here for to translate the whole URL page into Meskin (Spanish) or other European words

Joe Bob's new official site can be found at www.joebobbriggs.com.

Joe Bob Briggs bio from 1999 (he blooms anywhere)
There are books by Joe Bob Briggs available on the bio page, but none about Monstervision

This vast website devoted to Monstervision built and maintained by half-vast fans

Best movies ever made by Japanese guys in monster suits...with links to Monstervision's host segments for "Godzilla" and "Godzilla vs Mothra" (Joe Bob just loved the tiny women who sing to Mothra)

See if your favorite person, TV series or
motion picture is available on video/books:

A word from God

Big Trouble In Little China fans, for a free computer game based on your favorite movie, go to the Big Trouble In Little China computer game on the Wingkong.net fan website for free download. And don't worry if you don't get the rules right away, you weren't brought into this world to get it, Mr. Burton.
And here's Kurt Russell's opinion of Osama Bin Ladin.

www.Vampirefans.com
Email: scifanscom

Click here to sign up for a weekly Email from Joe Bob, news you can't use, guaranteed. Want to drop Joe Bob a note? Send email to joebob@joebobbriggs.com

Longer version of that music the Phantom plays on a pipe organ

Click here for Christine (the movie review & host segments, not the demon-possessed car from Hell itself)

Or visit Boris Karloff, he's lonely

Kolchak, the Night Stalker page

Lock your doors, lock your windows, and click here for the "Halloween" movies

Halloween is 20 years old, happy birthday!

Animated graphics © 2003 by The Animation Factory.

This page © the great and powerful Bill Laidlaw. Be vewy vewy qwiet. I'm hunting wabbits. Bad, bad talking-cat

® Monstervision is a registered trademark of nobody

This electric site

Help keep this on a popup-free website. Buy something from our sponsors! Click here to hear your computer scream again

Or here to hear Return of the Living Dead themesong

Please note: this website is for intelligent people, not this guy
Was that the boogie-man?

Guess who's coming to dinner

Welcome to the party, pal

Monstervision Error 404 Page (it's fun)

See anything on this page you don't like? Contact the Webmaster. Not to be confused with the Puppet Master. Whatever you do, for God's sake, don't attempt to contact the zombie/undead "Puppet Master." You've been warned. That's all I can do.

Episodes of Wierd Science can be seen on Starz channel "Wam" What do you little maniacs want to do first?

The Visitors are coming to the Sci-Fi Channel in a remake of "V" with Robert Englund of Nightmare On Elm Street as a "friendly" alien

Greetings from The Visitors

Hamster Dance!

Or visit the Neko homepage

Click here if you want to be a spammer

Note: if you want to printout this page, be sure your printer is set to black ink & no background. And that it has ink in it. And paper

Monstervision…

What was the question again?

Ronald McDonald ends it all...click here for news item from the Urban Legends website 42% of all statistics are fake

10 Reasons Not To Kill President Bush

It's official...Joe Bob has hooked up with The Scream Channel, a newly-formed cable network delivering horror, suspense, thriller oriented entertainment. The network is slated to launch on cable or the internet sometime this year. Check the website for more info as it develops.

Willard! There are rats in the basement!

"The majority is always wrong" - Steve McQueen

Terrorists are not cowards, they're the enemy...Annihilate them Joe Bob Briggs


View MonsterVision Guestbook
Sign MonsterVision Guestbook



Your uncle was a monkey, swinging through the trees

They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and ookie, they're altogether spooky, the Addams Family. That's my 2˝˘ worth

It's A Joke, Son (256k video mp4)

Important Note: This is not a chain letter. It was not started decades ago in the Netherlands, nor was it perpetrated centuries ago by some deranged monk on Easter Island (which is highly unlikely in the first place, since EMACS only works on smart display terminals, and they weren't available on Easter Island back then, due largely to the U.S. state department's vigorous ban on exportation of advanced technology to deranged monks on equatorial islands).

There is no luck associated with this letter. Hence, it is pointless to send five copies of this letter to people you like. In fact, it is vigorously discouraged, since, by sending this letter through the postal service, you are needlessly burdening an already overworked system. You also increase the chance of the postal service losing mail. Murphy's Law will take effect here, resulting in your letter being delivered the next day, and a Red Cross package to a needy individual in Zimbabwe to be accidentally re-routed to Hackensack, New Jersey, thus becoming lost forever. You do not stand a chance, however, of displacing any junk mail.

If you break the chain, and fail to send five copies of this letter to other unfortunate individuals, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you. If, on the other hand, you do propagate five copies of this letter, then absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen to you, either.

"The Freaks" start doing the gooble gobble chant at a wedding reception (1932)
By the way, this movie was banned in Britain for 30 years, and even the ending was edited out before it was released in America, and the ending on the storyboard wasn't approved for filming (it involved an ax and a bag of feathers)

People who think logically are a nice contrast to the rest of the world

Nine of ten people suffer from hemorrhoids. Do the other two enjoy them?

"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked the new husband.
"Toast and juice," she replied.

The drive-in will never die!!!

"MonsterVision" was cancelled by the ungrateful weasels at TNT
Later gator,
Joe Bob

More Blonde Jokes:
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
She told someone to meet her at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius."
If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened around the home, she moved.
Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? ...It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? ..."Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? ...Because it said "concentrate."
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to retrain.
What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.
Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.
What's the definition of eternity? 4 blondes at a 4-way stop.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.
What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? "This Goes In Front."
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? "Oh, look!! Donut seeds!
"When I went to Wal-Mart for the first time...I always thought they sold wallpaper. I didn't realize it was everything. You can get anything you want there for really, really cheap." Paris Hilton

Outside American please click here for lots of neat stuff. In Association with Amazon.co.ukThis fan website is not connected in any way with the SCIFI channel. If you buy anything from Amazon.com using the links here, they pay 4% commission, but there were no sales for the last 30 days. At this rate, this website may soon cease to exist. If you are not American, here is our link to the Amazon.co.uk website

War, what's it worth?

(JavaScript Error)
To see more details, click here.
Not to mention the cost in American lives.
Over 4000 in the U.S. military died during President Clinton's first term in office, including one dragged behind a jeep

Legal crap for this world wide website

Fun fact: As of 1995, Yahoo.com had a database of over 15,000 websites!